Stop Looking For Time That Doesn’t Exist

A client recently sent me a picture of her family calendar. And when I say this thing was packed...I mean PACKED.

Every day was filled with work schedules, sports practices, appointments, school events, meetings, pick-ups, drop-offs, birthday parties, and about a hundred other things. It was color-coded, organized, and somehow still looked completely overwhelming.

And she asked me:

"How am I supposed to find time for myself when there isn't any?"

And this is exactly where a lot of us are - and that’s the question a lot of us as asking. Staring at the color coded chaos trying to figure out where there is 30 minutes for a workout, or a walk, or to prep some food for the week. And the conclusion that is made most of the time is…”I don’t have time to workout”. “I don’t know how I will fit in time to meal prep”. “I don’t know how to change my approach to this schedule without everything falling apart”.

And while it is true - that when she looks at her calendar, there really isn’t much time at all during the day. But maybe we are looking for time in the wrong place…or at the wrong time.

Most people approach planning and their calendar by filling in everything that absolutely has to happen first.

Work, kids schedules, appointments, family obligations, everything goes where it is supposed to be.

THEN…we zoom out on the week, and start looking for blocks of time for our workouts. For our walks. For the meal prep. For the things that we know are important for our health goals. But the problem is - that by the time we are looking for that time on our calendar - it’s already full. We are trying to fit ourselves and the things important to us - in the leftover spaces on the calendar.

And I think we all know what happens with this approach. We see that there aren’t any leftover spaces. There isn’t any time left for us. One of the biggest mindset shifts I have had to make in my own health journey - was realizing that I needed to stop looking for time, and start planning for the priorities. Two very different approaches. LOOKING for time assumes it will magically appear. PLANNING for priorities means intentionally creating space for the things that matter. And sure - it’s easier said than done. Most people I work with are busy - like me - like you. The calendars are always full.

My clients are parents, professionals, caregivers, business owners, people who genuinely have a lot on their plates. And it’s not about pretending that your schedule isn’t full - or figuring out what can be cut out of your day - it’s asking a different question before the week even starts.

You aren’t fitting yourself IN the schedule…

You are asking what you need this week in order to feel like yourself. And in asking a question like this - you are immediately changing the conversation from putting yourself last hoping for scraps of time - to putting yourself IN the planning process.

So maybe the things that will help you feel like yourself are: 2-3 workouts. Daily walks. Grocery delivery so you don’t need to find a block of time shopping for yourself. Meal prepping lunches. An hour at a coffee shop to map out the upcoming week of meals/plans/etc. Bedtime planned into your schedule so you know when wind-down starts.

The specific answer to that question of what you need to feel like yourself doesn’t matter quite as much as the fact that in ASKING that question - you are identifying the thing before the weekly planning starts.

AND HERE IS THE TOUGH LOVE:

Most people don’t struggle to identify what they need. They struggle to give themselves permission to prioritize it. And when we don’t intentionally plan for our own priorities - we end up trying to squeeze them into whatever tiny gaps of time remain in that color-coded calendar of chaos. We tell ourselves as we plan our week that we will workout if there is time, that we will go for a walk in between things, that we will meal prep because of course there will be some time at some point in the weekend. We will take care of ourselves after everyone else is already set. But the after never comes. We treat our priorities like optional extras instead of actual priorities, then sit back and wonder why progress is so hard to make.

SO LET’S TALK BEHAVIOR CHANGE:

The decision to prioritize yourself doesn’t have to do with discipline or motivation - it is the decision itself. The decision that your health and YOU get a seat at the table when the week is being planned. Not if there is time leftover - but during the planning process. This doesn’t mean you will be able to do everything you want - there will likely be sacrifices. Sometimes creating space for yourself means saying no to something else. This might mean an earlier wake time, might mean a shorter workout, might mean a walk on your lunch break, it might mean things aren’t exactly as you wish they could be.

So maybe ask: “if my health was already a priority…if I was already doing the damn thing…how would this week look different"?”

What is happening? What is changing? What is different? What is the same?

The real goal here isn’t a perfect schedule - it’s to stop treating YOUR NEEDS like something that you will eventually get around to. And if you are looking at your calendar right now and thinking: “But Hannah, there literally isn’t room.”

I hear you. But…you know I love to challenge thoughts like that - so here we are. Gently challenging that thought. Sometimes the answer isn’t finding MORE time, but deciding that some of the time on your calendar deserves to belong to you too. What would that feel like? What would it look like? Because things like this are not just about nutrition, or workouts - it’s learning how to create al life that supports the life you deserve to have. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THE LEFTOVERS ON THE SCHEDULE.

You deserve to be an early part of the planning phases in your calendar every week.