Making Sure Your Expectations Match Your Effort
There’s a pattern I see come up often when it comes to nutrition…
Someone feels frustrated that things “aren’t working,” but when we take a closer look at what their day-to-day actually looks like, there’s a disconnect between what they expect to happen, and what their current actions & routines are set up to produce. Not because they’re doing anything necessarily wrong…but because there’s a gap between effort, capacity, and expectation. And that gap is where the frustration grows - and that’s totally normal.
You started on your health journey to feel better, to have more energy, to be more consistent - maybe see changes in your body or your confidence - all of which are really great and very valid goals. And somewhere along the line - you step back and realize - this isn’t working. Why isn’t it working? This is where we want to look at what is happening:
You’re busy, you have a family, responsibilities, full-time job, you’re meals are planned out - but could be better, steps hit on the days you can make it happen, workouts…same - but when you can get them in you push them and feel great - you are balancing all the things and some days feel fantastic - others feel like you are just barely keeping your head above water.
And your question “why isn’t this working” is hovering there. You’ve already changed so much to make improvements - why aren’t I really feeling the way I thought I would??
Here’s the reframe I want you to sit with: What if your current actions and behaviors are actually producing exactly the results they’re designed to produce?
Not because you’re doing anything wrong - you’re already probably creating a lot of shifts in your life that are definitely making a difference! But it could ALSO be that your inputs and expectations aren’t aligned. This is where behavior change really comes into play. There’s something called an expectation vs. reality gap, and when that gap gets too wide, it creates frustration. You start your journey, and have these outcomes in your mind of what you want to achieve, who you will be - what you will be doing, how you will feel, etc. But the current behaviors you are ABLE to do right now - are producing a different outcome. So your brain tries to make sense of that by saying things like:
“I need to try harder.”
“I’m not consistent.”
“I just can’t stick to anything.”
But in most cases… it’s not about trying harder, or being more consistent, or not being able to stick to anything - it’s just a mismatch. So becoming aware of that is the first bit step! So while you might have a certain outcome - it might be that we need to say…that’s an outcome for a year from now - but how do we break that down into what I am working towards right now - and for the next few months. What can I do right now that is just a little bit better - what can I do more regularly that will be a helpful step in the right direction, and if I DID do that for the next 3 months - what outcome would that elicit?
We want to create alignment between WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT YOU ARE DOING NOW, and WHAT YOU EXPECT FROM THOSE ACTIONS. When those three things start to line up… something really interesting happens. The frustration starts to quiet down, you stop feeling like you’re constantly falling short, and you start to feel more clear & in control because the outcomes you are seeing MAKE SENSE based on what you are doing. You start to build trust in yourself that you are capable of creating impactful changes.
So if you’ve been feeling stuck lately…like you “know what to do” but it’s just not clicking…I want you to come back to this question:
“Are my expectations matching my current effort and capacity right now?”
Because you’re not behind.
You’re not broken.
You might just be a little out of alignment. And once we bring those pieces closer together, it all starts to feel a lot more manageable and a lot smoother.
And if this is hitting home… this is exactly the kind of work we do inside coaching. Coaching isn’t just “what to eat” (in my opinion that’s the easy part) - but how to align your habits, your expectations, and your real life in a way that actually works.